Tick Followed Tock!! It’s the World Crap Surfing Championship
The thing is with cool/extreme sports is there’s always going to be that tricky period between learning to do it and being able to do it. It’s just the right of passage for every aspiring radical groovster who wants to earn the right to walk with a swagger and wear their jeans around their knees, with extra pants showing . There is, however, a large group of us that will pick up a skateboard, strap on a snowboard and jump on a BMX and be capable of nothing more, no matter how hard we try, of killing ourselves. We just can’t do it, or not nearly as well as we’d like to. Welcome to the World Crap Surfing Championships.
Tube City
The event at Praa Sands in Cornwall has been going for all of 3 years and 2011’s Championship saw the spectator numbers swell to several hundred, but it’s underlying ethos of embracing failure should see its popularity grow massively in a country which is ultra comfortable with sporting malaise. Being a full year behind the times they’re celebrating the Royal wedding with a Kings and Queens theme, which will see the best crap male and female surfers crowned and then some more bit type prizes for other stuff they think up on the day.
Gnarly dude
Entry to the event costs a credit crunch friendly £20 and the fun starts on Friday 1st June when you arrive and get the measure of your fellow crap competitors. The surfing warm ups start the next day with the evening playing host to the Crap Surfers Ball, which promises ‘drinking and arsing about’. Then, on Sunday 3rd June the Championship proper takes place with things winding up at around 5pm followed by ‘general merriment’.
Six foot and offshore
Well, he may not be quite six foot but the blog's own Robert Dawson-Goodey is once again taking to the road in pursuit of a life less ordinary – only this time he's driving. Fresh from the casual violence and thrills of the Office Chair Race, Robert is attempting to get the first blog trophy under his already highly tensioned belt by competing in the The World Crap Surfing Championships. A strong swimmer and committed flip flop enthusiast struggling for fitness, he is on paper at least a contender. What fancy dress should he wear? How should he practice? What should be his signature move? He needs help…oh my word he needs help…
Like, totally amped
To show his commitment Robert is planning to eat at least one salad between now and competition day, do some much needed fitness training (above) and practice balancing on the ironing board. Also this time we're sending him off with back up - Chillisauce's very own Jack Daniels will be accompanying Robert with a film camera, making it much more easy to prosecute should he run into difficulties again.
Whatever happens, win or lose, he'll earn the right to repeat this mantra:
"I am a crap surfer
I have walked the walk of shame
I am bloodied but unbowed
I am stoked and still standing"
…there is no way he's going to remember that lot…
More Details about the World Crap Surfing Championship can be found here: http://www.crapsurfer.com/
About the Author
Adrian Simpson Adrian Simpson is a writer and TV presenter with a profound love of the outdoors. His family, snow, sea, brewing, vinyl, guitars and VW buses mean the world to him.
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