Published on May 10th, 2012 | by Adrian Simpson
The Office Chair Race: This time it’s personal
He’s back. Robert Dawson-Goodey, the blog’s answer to Ayrton Senna is once again on British soil having been carried aloft through the streets of Potters Bar to a rapturous reception. Speaking from his family home Robert was able to confirm that he was still in one piece and in fine fettle after securing 25th place out of a field of 38 racers. His partner in crime, Tim Williamson, blew Robert into the reeds with an eye watering 23rd place – training and diet clearly making the difference here.
Robert’s trail from the UK to France back to the UK and then on to Germany made the Great Escape look like a trip to the pub. With no money, one shoe and no passport he managed to extricate himself from France, shower, change his pants and arrive at the office chair racing world championships on time. All he needed to do was blow up a few railway lines and we could have been back in 1940.
Heroes of German Media
Although conditions flitted between sunshine and showers the crowd’s enthusiasm more than made up for any downpours and Robert and Tim battled valiantly. Let’s not forget Rob’s chair had been callously stolen so he had to borrow a completely unfamiliar machine with strange settings and Tim had decided to trust his life to a chair with new wheels that had been sellotaped to the legs. In true British spirit they went down all guns blazing, heroes of the German media.
Getting some French stick
Robert was also able to confirm some more details about his scrape with the French youths at the service station in the early hours of last Friday morning. Clearly still smarting over Agincourt and Dunkirk, the French rascals not only stole one of his shoes and his chair, they also hit him with his own baguette; it doesn’t get much lower than this. When relayed to the Government, sensing a wave of national outcry, The Royal Navy was put on full standby and French patisseries in trendy parts of London were alerted for a backlash.
Chillisauce is very proud of Robert and the £700 he’s managed to raise for Help4Heroes. He kept going, lost his footwear and money but never lost his spirit. Since the incident France has obviously had a change of President and they’re keen to patch things up with us and we’re willing to listen but we have this to say: never again will one of our own be struck by the national food of another country. We’ve got food you simply don’t want to mess with.
If you were firing a salvo of British food at France, what would you choose?