Published on June 7th, 2012 | by Adrian Simpson0
I Came, I Saw, I was Crap and I Conquered
On the 3rd of June 2012 a very special event took place here in the UK. You might be thinking this global media friendly occasion was the Queen's Jubilee celebrations. Not quite, think bigger. Way down in the South West of England, 275 miles away from Buckingham Palace, a major event was taking place on the beautiful beach of Penzance, The World Crap Surfing Championships 2012……. and to shock you even more ladies and Gentlemen… I came, I saw, I was Crap
Not quite like you average championships where it's measured on the fastest, the strongest or the furthest, this championship is measured on "the most amount of effort, for the least amount achieved" which basically means the more of a complete loser you are the greater the chance of realising victory.
In the words of Brian Fantana "the mood was tense" as 30 participants gathered around the crap surfing tent at Praa Sands, boards and wetsuits in hand as they sought to conquer the most prestigious and difficult event of the sporting calendar. Well, their sporting calendar anyway.
Having never surfed before I wanted to get some practice in, I have always adopted the motto of practice makes permanent, not practice makes perfect, and if you're permanently crap then I was definitely in with a shout to make it through to the later stages. Luckily I was really bad and didn't even need to practice. I won't bore you about my surfing because its not fun to listen to, as nothing really happened, apart from me falling off a lot, so we have made a little movie for you of the event and I reckon you could get a pretty good feel for just how bad I am.
I could go on and explain the individual heats, the surfing techniques and what my mind was going through on the day but lets face it……. it's all crap, but at least my outfit was good!